Last year, I learned about a few things after the fact. That was always something that irritated me about the news in Texas and in Washington. They'd go on and on about how exciting the jazz festival or the art show was, and meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Why didn't they announce this before-hand, so I could GO?"

The things I learned about last year were JournalCon, and NanoWriMo, both after they'd already occurred. Well this year, I'm ahead of the game. I signed up for JournalCon, and I even have a roommate! It's less than a week away, and I'm pretty excited! Of course, I'm worried, too. People have all kinds of time to sit out and write journal entries, to revise and edit, to let their artistic stylings come out. I love their journals. Some of the attendees have journals that I've been reading for a year or more! But what if I don't like the person behind the webpage? Is it possible that some of them are not as cool as the journals they maintain? What if I hate it? What if I'm way more anti-social than I mean to be? What if everyone's having a great time, and I'm the geek in the corner who doesn't know what to say to anyone, wanting to be cool, but feeling totally left out? God, I hope that doesn't happen. With any luck, I'll be the outgoing, witty, cute yet cool-with-an-edge chick I've always wanted to be (think Emily the Strange meets The Powerpuff Girls), and I'll be all interactive and whatnot, and people will chat and joke with me, and we'll all have a great time. Most likely, I'll end up being chattier than I ever meant to be and during my ramblings I'll be thinking dear god, I hope they're not all getting sick of me!

So, obviously, I care far too much what other people think.

I need to listen to Dr. Phil, who said, "You wouldn't care as much what other people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did."

How true.

No one but me will care (or even know!) if I'm more or less outgoing than usual. I plan on just having the best time I can while I'm there, and enjoying the company of all these people with a similar interest: writing! ... And drinking! Well, I'm sure there'll be some drinking involved. Anyway, I shouldn't be worried. Most likely, I'll have a really fun time!

Now for the second event I missed last year: NanoWriMo! I've always said I wanted to write a novel. I've always thought that I would, when I was older, either right before I had kids, or when my future kids were older... But dammit, will I ever, if not given a push? So, I'm going to do it, by golly. I'm going to write the crappiest novel ever written and I'm going to do it in November. With a bunch of other people, all hovering over their keyboards in an effort to purge 1,700 words a day from their brains onto their computer screens. Coffee, scribbling ideas on napkins, bleary, strained eyes from computer screen over-exposure... It could happen. I could write a novel... in a month. It'll be one gargantuan bomb of a book, but you know what? It'll be mine.

I think I should do it.

So yes, new and exciting things in the near future. Even though new things do make me somewhat nervous, it's the kind of nervousness I need in my life, the feeling you get from trying something new. I am excited that this year, I don't have to say, "I guess it'll have to wait until next year." This year, I'm doing it. For the first time in a long time, I planned ahead. And I feel good about that. And through it all, I'll just have to remind myself to relax and be myself, and I think everything else will fall into place nicely after that.

~Meg