This morning, Joe woke me up and said, "Meg, do you want to go to the zoo today?"

"Yes!" I said, sitting up, feeling woozey and groggy (my usual state after just waking).

And that was that. We dressed for a sunny day at the zoo, complete with hats and sunscreen. We were off!

Things I learned at the zoo:

- "Summer" in San Francisco does not require shorts and short sleeve shirts. Sweaters and long pants are the most appropriate attire. Oops.

- The most common animal found in zoos will always be the Homo sapien ignoramus, identifiable by its odd remarks, such as, "These animals all act like they're sedated!" as they witness wild lions and tigers resting or meandering slowly around their enclosures.

- It actually IS possible to see the entire zoo in only a few hours, because it is smaller than it looks.

- Squirrels will go inside the baskets of strollers when they are left unattended outside the petting zoo. Clapping your hands only seems to send them to a different stroller. Well-intentioned citizens cannot protect your strollers from squirrels. I'm sorry. We tried.

- Goats are actually quite scary when they want the food you've got in your hands.

- Kettle corn is amazingly delicious, especially when it's warm.

- Your husband is not necessarily going to feed kettle corn to the ducks when he reaches into the kettle corn bag, even if he just joked about doing so. There actually is no need to over-react and say, "Hunnie, don't!" while slapping his hand away.

- Polar bears have vacuoles on their paws that act as suction cups on the ice to keep them from slipping.

- Polar bears sometimes like to dig in dirt.

- Polar bears have black skin underneath their fur.

- The trip for a koala to its mother's pouch when it is first born may only be two and a half inches long. But, it would be like a human being, 5'8" tall, with his feet tied together and his hands in boxing gloves, trying to crawl 15 feet in under five minutes through garden hoses, surrounded by mites the size of lobsters.

- I am good at memorizing signs.

- Tortoises will tolerate being out in the cold if you force them to do so.

- Twelve year old volunteers know next to nothing about the wild animals they hold in towels, as they cuddle them, and invite you to pet them.

- The San Francisco Zoo clearly does not require the use of thick leather gloves while handling opossums, the only North American mammal with over 50 sharp teeth in its little mouth.

- Opossums are soft.

- The insect zoo is not as interesting as I thought it would be. Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting.

- There are such things in the world as black swans.

- The scientific name for western lowland gorillas is Gorilla gorilla gorilla.

- Gorillas have binocular vision and see in color, just like humans.

- Sometimes a father will think it's funny to put on a gorilla mask and jump out at his toddler-aged daughter to yell, "Boo!", but all that will happen is everyone in the gift shop will say, "Awww!" as they watch the young girl cry and run to the safety of her mother's arms.

- Gorilla House is under construction. Gorilla World is not.

- Orangutans sometimes flip around and around on a metal bar like a gymnast.

- Parents sure do let their kids whine a lot.

- Lemurs are as cute as they ever were and have a wonderful enclosure at the San Francisco Zoo.

     

- It's important to bring back-up batteries for your digital camera.

And now, last but most certainly not least, witness the Felis catus's amazing ability to completely camouflage itself in its natural environment...

  

Fascinating.