I'm listening to a really cool album Misti burned for me today called Peace and Quiet. The title alone says it all! Music playing over ocean waves. I love it. Of course, it's reminded me that it's been a damn long time since I sat on the beach and watched the ocean. I'm talking years. And I live near the ocean! What's up with that? Maybe part of me misses Santa Monica and Zuma Beaches so much that I'd almost feel guilty for visiting another beach. Or, you know, maybe I am just being a lazy ass. Well right now, at least I have the excuse that it's cold and rainy at the beach, and that's not nearly as fun as a sunny, warm beach, now is it?

Anyway, I also just did my deep breathing exercises while listening to the music, and wow... All the tension and frenzied craziness inside me is just gone. My therapist is really onto something with her whole, "Do your breathing exercises every single day," theory. It's weird. It's nice, too. I mean, it's good to have something that can calm me down so well!

Okay, so Misti gave me my Christmas gift from her and Steve tonight! I'm so excited!! But, first, there's a backstory (you knew there would be, right?)...

At some point several years ago, I got it into my head that when I was older I wanted a meditation room in my house. This thought must have come from the time I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a day spa in Washington. The waiting room was dark and cool, with green walls, a green poofy sofa, black wood tables, and a tall waterfall fountain. It was so incredibly relaxing that I knew I needed an entire room just like it someday.

Imagine my envy when Misti told me she and her man rearranged their apartment to dedicate one of their two bedrooms into a meditation room! I told her about my feelings and my desire to have a meditation space of my own. She helped me brainstorm ways I could add meditative aspects to any of my already existing rooms. It's so hard to figure out living in a small apartment! I had ideas for a meditative bedroom, bathroom, or even balcony.

I talked to Joe about these ideas, but he was naturally afraid to turn over free rein to me with regards to interior decorating. He's seen how many episodes of Trading Spaces I've consumed. I won't say his fears are completely unfounded. Mostly, if I were to decorate on my own, we'd have a space that I LOVED and that he, well, thought was okay, or weird, or not at all him. We have very different decorating tastes!

Then, Misti and Steve got to talking and realized they'd had something for a long time that never really felt like "them," and they thought it would be perfect for me. It's a beautiful, wooden cabinet! I can use it as my own little altar, a meditation space, something I can sit in front of with the doors wide open, look at pretty things, and just relax. Best of all, it is made of unfinished wood, which means I can stain it that beautiful green color I've always associated with peacefulness, meditation, and relaxation. I'm incredibly excited about having a piece of furniture that's so personal and all my own!

I've wanted a cabinet like this for a long time. I thought maybe I could build myself something that could hold all my creative stuff, like my art supplies and my flute. But I have no woodworking skills! Then, when I first saw this cabinet at Misti's apartment, I remember thinking to myself, that's the kind of cabinet I'd build for myself if I ever learned how... And it turns out this is the exact cabinet she gave me!

Maybe a cabinet doesn't sound like such a big deal to a lot of people, but to me, it really means something. It means having a space that is exclusively mine, that I can use to express myself. Any colors or designs I paint on it are a reflection of me, and all the things inside it will represent different aspects of my personality. It is something to help me focus on being calm and celebrating the simple things in life like colors, quiet moments, imagination, and creativity.

I love this cabinet! I love that Misti said she's had it for years, too, and while it did nothing for her, it also didn't feel right to give it away until she met me. She said it was like it was meant for me. And that makes it feel all the more special. What a wonderful gift!