Owowowowowow. OW! My feet hurt. Working eight hours is hard! And saying that out loud, I sound like a complete spoiled baby. Which, you know... I kind of am. I'm not used to working eight hour shifts, though! Mentally, it's sort of a strain, in that the entire first two hours I was at work today, all I could think of was how much I wanted to quit and walk out the door. Dealing with, "I hate this, I don't want to be here," for eight hours is sort of exhausting! Physically, it's also a real strain, because my feet are not used to that kind of activity. My crazy feet! I hope I can eventually get them back to a point where being on them so much isn't so damn freakin' painful!

Anyway, like I said, today I just wanted to quit. I wanted out of there. I couldn't stand how much I just felt like a giant poser. "Hi, can I help you?" comes out of my mouth while, "Please leave," runs through my head. (Actually, truth be told, it's more along the lines of, "Leave now, bitches!") As I mentioned before, some customers are nice, and once the nice ones started spilling in, I felt a little bit better. But it took a while.

See, today, I was rushing around before I ever walked in the door, so that was a bad start to the workday. On top of that, add major PMS to the mix, and you have one crazy Meg. I was alternately wanting to yell at people or just burst into tears.

Early in my shift, as people wafted through the door, I'd say hi to them, since I was working by the entrance. Then one lady came in, I smiled and said, "Hi, how are you today?" in my perky voice, and she gave me a very brusque, "Fine." The woman practically glared at me, and it took everything in my power not to say out loud, "Fuck you, too, assface!" I did say it in my head, though.

Immediately afterwards, my supervisor came over to tell me that it's important for me to be extra super nice to all the customers, to really talk to them, to find out who they're shopping for, themselves or family, to recommend outfits and giftcards, etc, etc. Basically, I felt like she was telling me to be something completely contrary to who I am as well as my philosophy of helping people, which is as follows: I offer help, and people will either accept it or not. Case closed. Simple, yes? I just can't be the person who pushes stuff on everyone else. Most people already know what they're looking for, so I feel silly running and grabbing them ten items just to make a sale, when they really didn't even want all that crap. Since I was having such a hard time being the salesperson she wanted me to be, I decided to try to act the part of a salesperson instead. I think it helped a little to think of it like that.

I wanted to just cry when my supervisor told me to be extra super nice, though, especially since it was immediately after that horrible woman had just come in the store! I was having cramps, my back hurt, I wanted a nap in the worst possible way, and I couldn't help thinking, "What, pray tell, is the fucking point of helping people who are rude to me?"

Along those same lines, where on earth did "The customer is always right," come from, anyway? First of all, it's not true. Secondly, somehow customers have warped it from, "I'm always right" (which is bad enough for them to be thinking in the first place, frankly), to "It is my right to treat you like utter crap! Now do my bidding, slave!"

Not just in the store I work in, either. I noticed it more, in fact, when I went to eat dinner. I was sitting in a sandwich shop I have been frequenting regularly, munching away on my food, when this dude comes to the counter and treats the girl behind the register like a complete idiot (which she is totally not!). He was short with her, interrupted her every chance he got, and was just generally an asshole. Now, maybe he's an asshole to everyone instead of only sharing his star personality with those in the service industry. I don't know which is worse, generalized or selective assholeness. Still, people who are working hard deserve respect, damn it, and I hate coming across jack-offs who believe otherwise.

One good thing did happen at work today. Okay, two good things. First, one co-workers who doubles as a barrista at Starbucks came to work with a peppermint hot chocoalate and gave me a sip. It was extremely delicious. The sweet taste in my mouth along with the fact that she was nice enough to share some with me totally brought a smile to my face.

The second good thing was that a friend of one of my co-workers came in with her daughter and their new baby kitten! I couldn't believe they were walking around with this sweet little guy! He was eight weeks old, completely black, and stunningly sweet. I asked if I could hold him, of course, and they said yes. I talked to the little girl who told me excitedly, "He's my baby! I love him!" She couldn't have been more than ten years old, and was pretty adorable herself. I cuddled his purring body under my chin, as I scratched him gently all over. My heart just melted. A co-worker mentioned I might get in trouble if my supervisor saw me. Well, my supervisor didn't see me, but two thoughts ran through my head when I heard that. 1) So fucking what?, and 2) How WEIRD is it that this is the first job I've ever had where cuddling a kitten is not only NOT part of my job, but could actually get me in trouble??? That was a brain spinner, for sure.

I thanked the girl whole-heartedly for letting me cuddle her kitty, and she said excitedly, "You're welcome!!!" She has no idea what having some kitten time meant to me. I smiled and gave a silent thank-you to whatever deity or force or just series of events brought them into the store. I needed that cuddle time with Zeus the Kitty more than I can say. That moment was what made me think, "Okay, I can get through the rest of the night." Feeling that purry body against my neck spurred me on, man! It also made me realize I am in the wrong damn place for work and I don't want to do it anymore. I think I need to find something else. I haven't made any firm decisions yet (PMS, remember? It's never a good idea to make big, important life decisions when PMS is holding my brain captive). But I may, in the not-too-distant future.

Damn, I have all these other interesting things on my mind that I want to write about. They'll have to wait for another day, though. Right now, I'm wiped. I used my momentum from work to actually straighten up a bit once I got home. Now, though, I'm in my pajamas and I think I need to go watch my TiVoed shows, namely, the final episode of King of the Jungle. Check me out, I need animals in the workplace and in my t.v. viewing/relaxation time. I need animals always, dude. In fact, I'm going to see if I can convince my two kitties to snuggle on the couch with me. Then, everything will be perfect!