What a busy, crazy day! I just got home and am excited about this evening's purchases! I feel like jabberng away, but Joe is fast asleep, so I'm taking this time to make some pasta (water's on the stove right now), and jabber away on my website. I might as well make use of this talkative energy of mine!

So, this morning I worked, and I guess it was my last day. I didn't say to anyone that it was, and no one knows what I told my boss about not wanting to return. In fact, this evening, people were talking like it was a sure thing that I'd stay on. I feel really weird and mixed up over everything. See, yesterday was the first really great day of work since I started there. Ever since I decided to quit, I've had a "what-thefuck-ever" attitude about everything. I thought, Well, if they fire me, I'll just leave and it'll be over sooner. Any time the customers were rude, I walked away from them and didn't help them. When they were nice, I did help them. When I felt like singing aloud to the music, or when I felt like skipping through the store, I just did. I even said, "Hmm, hmm, hmm, meow," out loud, in front of customers or whoever, when I was thinking about something or trying to find where an article of clothing belonged. That's what I do at home (yes, act all crazy!), so I just did it at work, too!

I've just totally been acting like myself. I stopped caring what anyone thought, stopped caring how I defined "professional," and stopped trying to be the way I thought I "should" be or the way I thought others expected me to be. I was just me, and you know what? A lot of people have been responding well to that! I had more people telling me thank you when I helped them, and more people laughing at me and calling me cute.

For instance, a few days ago, I accidentally nudged a long pole, and it fell and almost hit my co-worker. Before my change of attitude, I probably would have worried about it and wondered if she thought I was lame. I would have apologized and shied away, skulking out of the room. But none of that ran through my head. She wasn't hit, so I wasn't worried. And after I picked it up off the floor, I just said, "Woah, okay, I'll have to end my murderous rampage now..." And she giggled and said, "She's so cute!" to my boss, who responded, "I know!"

I also had more people scowling at me from time to time when they thought, I don't know, something negative about me, clearly. But you know? I really cannot bring myself to care.

What I'm getting at (finally) is I realized I could be myself and still do okay there. I don't have to be perky or salesy. And people will still want me to stay.

One girl even said, "Everyone likes you, so it's like a for-sure thing that they'd keep you on."

Another girl (who works at the store across from us but visits all the time) said, "What? You're Seasonal? I thought you were permanent! I want you to be permanent! You're like my buddy."

Wow, I didn't even know she felt that way!

And all of that is cool! But then there's other stuff, like my desire to be with animals again. It's so much more rewarding to be surrounded by animals and people who love animals than not. There's also the fact that my co-workers treat me strangely when I'm visiting as a customer. They give off a vibe like since I'm not suffering by having to work at the same time as them, then I should just leave. They are perky and salesy with all the other customers except for me. At least, that's how the girls tonight were. One of the girls tonight was the same manager who let another co-worker of mine go home early just because she was annoying her. And... I got to work late because I'm not annoying? Nice.

I do think it's really cool that a lot of people really seem to like me there. And I like many of them, too. But... there's too many things wrong. The good does not outweigh the bad. It is good that I don't work there anymore, I think. I'll miss parts of it, but I think it's time I seek an animal related position again.

* * *

Anyway, none of that is what I am excited about, damn it! Back on track!

I am excited for many reasons!! Here they are:

~ I got to see a fellow journaler for lunch yesterday! I first met Sheila in Austin at JournalCon. She's visiting family out here for the holidays, so we got together for a really yummy lunch. So cool! We talked about a ton of stuff, including lots of pet stories. A woman after my own heart! I had a total blast seeing her, and hope to do it again someday.

~ I celebrated Yule last night with some cool folks. It felt good to welcome the coming light (longer days now that Winter Solstice has passed). It also felt good just to take time to get away from the typical holiday chaos (crowds, traffic, buying-buying-buying), and just appreciate the earth as well as all the nice, calm, truly important things in life, like sharing laughter and nice moments with the people we love.

~ I got nine hours of sleep last night! I crashed when I got home at eleven last night and slept straight through until eight this morning. Cool! Rest is so good!!! (I had been running on three hours sleep all day yesterday!)

~ I traded in a ton of CDs! They guy helped me even though he wasn't technically supposed to until later. He gave me cash from the store for most of my trade-ins, then bought two of the CDs off me personally! Cool!

~ I bought a bunch of stuff for London including:

Passport Photos ~ Apparently, I'll need one for a week long Tube pass we're going to purchase once we arrive in London. They'll make us a little photo I.D. pass, and now I have the pictures to do so. Yay!

Silk underwear ~ I know, I said I wouldn't get any! But Joe pointed out that I'll be standing outside for hours on New Year's Eve in the cold, and he didn't want me getting sick or being super uncomfortably cold. My husband is so smart. I didn't even think of that! And he's totally right. Plus, I may have lived in a similar climate before, but I don't live there now. California weather has spoiled me and made me kind of wussy, so I should try to stay as warm as possible on this trip. I'm likely to get pretty damn chilled, so yeah... Hooray for silk underwear! (I don't mind California weather making me wussy, by the way. I still love it here!)

Socks ~ Most of my current socks have been sucking as of late. They stick to my skin if my feet sweat at all, and right now, because I wore my crappy socks while venturing around all day, I feel like I have the beginnings of Athlete's Foot. I need socks that will keep my feet dry while I walk as well as not rub and irritate the bottoms of my feet. I was afraid to buy generic socks I knew nothing about, so when I saw some Gold Toe socks today, I bought them, remembering that my dad said they are a really good quality brand. Let's hope these work!

Shoes to wear to the theater ~ They're actually boots. They were the only pair left, they were in my size, and they fit right when I put them on. With my orthotics inside, they no longer fit, so I put them on hold to look around for another option. I went around the mall and tried on five more pairs of shoes, all of which were horribly painful. So I went back and got the boots! I truly don't know what to do to help my unsupported arches inside these boots. I would need several weeks (and a couple hundred bucks, no less) to get appropriate, thin orthotics. So that's a possibility for the future. In the meantime, I'll have to find some thin inserts or else buy another pair of shoes. Even if I do get a different pair for London, I'm still keeping the boots. They are SO CUTE! And with new orthotics, I bet they'd be perfect!

Black sweater ~ The silk underwear I bought cannot go under my theater outfit (a long sleeved silk shirt under my short sleeved blouse would look very silly indeed), so I need a sweater to keep me warm (in addition to my jacket) on my way to the plays, and possibly inside the theater as well.

Slippers ~ They were on sale for four bucks, and I got my employee discount on top of that! How could I not?

Joe's Christmas Present ~ The first store I tried was sold out, which surprised me so much I thought I'd die. I was freaking out a little until I found a store that did have it, so I got it, and now it's wrapped and sitting under the tree. Yay! I can't say what it is. I just hope he likes it!

And now, three stories of the day:

Story #1) Joe and I have had many conversations about the very careful manner in which I step onto escalators (probably nearly every time we've ridden an escalator together, in fact!). It's because my mom always told me if I didn't step onto the escalator correctly I could trip and get my shirt stuck in the stairs and then choke to death. Apparently, she saw it on an episode of Rescue 911 one time, and it stuck with her! Then Joe and I watched Bowling for Columbine, and there's a part that talks about fear-based ads and it mentions the hype about "dangerous" escalators. When that came on, Joe and I both burst out laughing, because we both thought of the same thing. Apparently, Mom and I were just buying into the message to be afraid of all that surrounds us.

Then today, for the first time in my life, I saw an escalator that had been shut down because this kid's shoe was stuck in between the stairs. He was freaking out, and making that nearly-crying face, while yelling, "MOMMYYYY!" His dad was there, as was the department store lady with her walkie talkie, both of them trying to calm him. I was riding the ascending escalator at the time, so when I got to the next floor, I looked over the ledge to watch the situation unfold. After about fifteen seconds, he was freed, but obviously still very upset.

I told Joe that story later and said, "See?! You laugh at me, but escalators ARE dangerous!" to which he responded, "It was just his shoe!!"

Man. I hate it when he's unfazed by my stories!

#2) Today, the store underwear was kind of falling off the rack. So I picked it up, rehung it, and thought, What the fuck is "hopuns"?? I tried to figure it out. A brand name, perhaps? Hopuns? Was it Ho-puns, or Hop-uns? What was-- oh. Oh. Okay. It's Sunday. Had it upside down!!! I couldn't stop giggling about it, and had no one near me to share it with, so I took the underwear all the way to the front of the store to find a fellow co-worker (one of my more awesome co-workers, in fact), and tell her that story. She laughed really hard and shook her head. "You're such a dork," she said. I laughed and said, "I know." At least it makes for some good laughs, though!

#3) When I was at the DVD store buying Joe's gift, the guy at the counter seemed a little out of it. When he said he hadn't seen the gift I was buying, I said, "Well, you have three. Oh, I guess now you have two."

Because I was buying one of the three, right?

Well, he responded, "You bought me two?"

And I had to explain what I meant. "No, not you-you. The store has two. You all had three, and now the store has two left. Because I'm buying this one."

"Oh," he said, seemingly embarrassed. He did some other weird stuff, too, before forgetting that I had to sign the credit card receipt. When I reminded him, he hit a button so that the machine would print it, and then, out of the blue, he said, "I just have to say, I don't know what it is about you, but... You just radiate cool. I just had to tell you that."

"Wow!" I said. "Thank you!"

Then I had to sign the receipt, so there was a weird pause, and I felt like I should say something. So I did. "Must be my new hat," I said, and chuckled.

"Must be," he said and smiled at me.

"Well, really, thank you very much. I appreciate that."

We exchanged "Happy Holidays," wishes, and I left the store smiling.

Was he all spacey and weird because he thought I was so cool or something? Because my radiation was affecting him? Heh.

Anyway, that was probably one of the coolest compliments I've ever received! For a total stranger to say something that cool was definitely a highlight of the day.

I radiate cool. Awesome. What an awesome thing to say! Hmm. Maybe that whole Truly Being Myself/Not Giving A Fuck What Others Think attitude really is paying off, after all! I'll have to keep it up and see what happens!