Just before 8:00am on New Year's morning, I got a phone call from Joe! It was just about to turn midnight there. I asked him to tell me when there were ten seconds left in 2003 so that we could count down together. He did, and soon we were counting down! "4, 3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!" we both said together! We shared many "I love you"s and talked a little while longer before getting off the phone. I was so happy to hear from him, and to be able to ring in the New Year twice!

* * *

For New Year's Day, Laura and I spent the day together at Kensington Gardens. We took the tube there, and let me just say, I love the London Underground. I find it amazingly easy to navigate, and it takes you absolutely anywhere you want to go! I felt so independent and proud of myself for figuring out which lines to take in which direction, where the transfers were, and exactly how to get wherever we were headed. I love the tube! Also, when they say, "Mind the Gap," they aren't kidding! Sometimes the gap is so wide, I think, "My whole leg could fit down there!" Yes. Mind the Gap, indeed!

I also love all the escalators in the Underground! They move so fast!! They're a lot of fun!

Anyway, Laura and I were only trying to find the Peter Pan statue when we went to Kensington Gardens, but we found so much more! Kensington Gardens is beautiful!!! It was so solemnly, peacefully silent. It was open and uncrowded, the perfect combination considering the craziness of our New Year's Eve. It was also lightly misting while we were out. The clouds were grey overhead, the trees were dark and soaked, and I said to Laura, "This, to me, feels like London."

I mean, the urban areas are one thing. But the parks and gardens are unbelievable. They are what make me feel like I'm in a completely different country. Okay, fine, the huge old buildings with amazing architecture make me realize I'm in a different country, too. Oh, and the British accents everywhere. Oh, nevermind! You know what I mean, right?

We saw the beautiful Italian fountains at Kensington, then wandered along the sand-colored gravel path. The statue we'd seen up ahead turned out not to be Peter Pan, so we took a left and wandered back slwoly towards our starting point. Along the way, we saw a couple, playing ball in a big field with their three dogs. So cute! Then we saw some girls feeding squirrels. Laura asked if I had anything to feed them, and I did. I warned her it might not be safe, though, that I'd gotten scratched by a squirrel in Washington once while feeding it part of a granola bar. Laura convinced me to feed them with her, and I must say, I'm glad she did. We had such a fun time! We must have spent a good hour with those squirrels!! I'd tear off a piece of croissant, lean or squat down and hold very, very still, waiting for them to come closer. Then they'd take it from my hand, lightning-quick, and dash away! Often, I'd feel their little paws on my fingers. So tiny and delicate! They took bread from Laura's hand, too, and we both laughed at how cute and cool and exciting it was to have wild squirrels taking food from our hands!! As Laura tried to take a picture of me feeding one squirrel, he took forever deciding whether or not to come closer. I was just sitting with croissant in my hand for the longest time, as people walked by and Laura stood poised, camera in hand. "I feel so silly," I said.

Without missing a beat Laura said, "You played bells, and now you feel silly?"

I laughed so hard! "Touche!" I said.

Later, a different squirrel was afraid to come closer, so I just tossed the piece of bread towards him. Out of nowhere, this bird swooped down and caught it mid-air! He flew away, and the squirrel took off after him! It was hilarious, like something out of a cartoon! I loved it!!

Then this guy passed us with his off-leash pugs who came over to say hello. We pet them a lot, laughing at their cute faces and excited personalities, and continued walking. Then we came across an older couple with their two dogs. I asked what breed they were and they said they're called Bellington Terriers. They looked like little sheep! They were so soft and cute. Very sweet dogs!

Laura and I then headed down a different path and we found the Peter Pan statue. It was so amazing! We spent a long time looking at all the details and taking pictures. What a gorgeous statue! It gave off a very enchanting vibe. I loved it!

We used my Purell and had a few snacks. I munched on my apple as we headed back to the tube station. As I was finishing my apple, I saw some red phone booths up ahead and asked Laura if she wanted to take pictures with me. Luckily, she did, so we ran on over. It was fun poking around in there and taking pictures in front of them. The doors of the booths were so heavy! They are really cool looking! And now we have the obligatory red telephone booth pictures, so I'm happy!

We headed back to the hotel to get ready for that night's play. As I was getting dressed, Laura called me from her room to inform me of just how cold it was going to be that night. It was going to go down to freezing! So instead of wearing pantyhose and a skirt, I wore my jeans with my boots and left it at that. As it turns out, that was a perfectly acceptable outfit for the theater. I can't believe I was so worried about looking nice enough at these plays before I left. It all worked out just fine!

We took a short tube ride to the theater and had plenty of time to spare. I had been absolutely starving, so Laura and Lily both shared a piece of their chocolate bars with me. Then I had a cheeseburger at McDonald's, because it's cheap and fast. While we were eating, I was feeling mildly annoyed. I never felt comfortable having all five of us "kids" together, because someone always bickered or at the very least, annoyed the hell out of me. Anyway, Alex was doing weird sucking stuff with his milkshake straw, sticking way down his throat, etc.

Laura teased him in a light-hearted way by saying, "Wow, you're good at that."

"Yeah, I am," he said.

She giggled. "See that's funny, because in Laura-Land, you just admitted you were gay."

And then, at a loud volume, in a really snotty tone of voice, Alex replied, "There's plenty of things I'd like to suck on, but a DICK isn't one of them!"

I immediately stood up and left.

I couldn't even think of any words to say to tell them I was leaving, or why, or to say how angry I was. I was just filled with fury, immediately followed by adrenaline. The next thing I know, I'm having a fucking anxiety attack and bolting out of McDonald's.

Laura called after me, "Meg, are you leaving?"

"Yep," I said, right before I reached the door and stepped out into the cold.

Laura jogged a bit to catch up with me. I was glad she had noticed. If she hadn't, I had told myself to stop walking once I was outside so that I could wait for her. But I at least had to get the hell out of the building.

I later described it to Laura like this:

I felt suddenly angry, so my body said, "Anger? Okay," and released a bunch of adrenaline, that went racing around my body. Then my brain said, "Adrenaline?? RUN!!!" So I did! And while I'm taking off, the rest of my brain's saying, "What? Run? Why? What's happening here?!"

Anyway, Laura was walking quickly to keep up with me as I sped-walked up the sidewalk, jabbering away. "I fucking hate him. I don't want to talk to him. I'm sick of him and he is NOT coming with us tomorrow!"

"What? Wait, what are you talking about?" Laura asked.

I started explaining why the whole scene bothered me so much, that there were customers and employees who heard the entire conversation, that I was so freaking embarrassed, that it was such an obnoxious thing to say, that he's immature and aggravating, and that I fucking can't stand him. He'd done so many other annoying things so far and this was the last straw. Climbing a barbed wire fence to take a picture of a fucking car, for instance. Sliding down the hotel bannister in the lobby was another annoying thing he did. How about when he turned and asked people on the street, completely seriously, "So what's it like to be ruled under a Queen?"?? God, I hate that guy! I was saying all of these things as I paced up and down in front of her and said, "I just don't want to be an asshole by association."

I paced in a figure eight around a pole on the corner of the block, listening to my feet tap rhythmically onto the stones, letting it calm me down. I knew my desire to cry was only from the adrenaline rush and I breathed deeply in an effort to calm myself down. I had told Laura at the beginning of the trip that I have anxiety attacks sometimes, and she had said she thought those might scare her. So I told her right then, "This, by the way, is an anxiety attack."

"Oh, okay," she said, calmly. Then she gave me kudos for being in fairly good spirits about it. I wasn't berating myself, she noticed. I was just sort of standing back, observing it, trying to figure out why it was happening.

It only took me another twenty minutes, but then I figured it out. I'd had chocolate on an empty stomach! That had to be it. Chocolate has caffeine in it, as well as sugar, and I'm sure it messed with my blood sugar. Had I eaten properly that day, I would have still been angry, but I wouldn't have had an anxiety attack, I don't think. Crazy stuff!

Anyway, I got some bottled water once we were inside the theater and then sat down for the show. There was a British couple next to us and we had fun talking to them. We all moved up when it was time for the curtain to go up. The theater staff said that since it was so empty, we could move forward. So we got some GREAT seats, again right next to the British couple (we followed them because they were so cool!). Those two were cute and funny and interesting to talk to. The guy had been to San Francisco so we talked a little about that, and they told us fun places to visit in London, too. Nice folks!

The play that night was a small one, in a small theater. The play was called See You Next Tuesday, a comedy. It was so freaking funny! It was full of swearing and silliness and misunderstandings, as well as very sarcastic and quick jokes that you'd nearly miss if you weren't paying close enough attention. It was just a really good time. One line made me laugh and laugh. It was the way the leading male said in his awesome British accent, "WHAT an asshole!" I can't even tell you how funny it was. Go see it!

After the play, we passed a stand selling souvenirs. There were two funny tee shirts. One said "I'm a Virgin," and underneath that, it read, "This is an old shirt." Another tee shirt was even funnier. It said, "You're the weakest link... fuck off!" That's the one Laura bought!

Back at the hotel, Laura and I chatted in my room. I'd told everyone I just wanted some alone time, but then Laura had forgotten water in my room. She came to pick it up and as it turned out, I was very glad to have her company. She stayed a while, and we planned out the next day. I told her there was no way in freaking hell that Alex was coming with us to the zoo. I explained more about my anxiety and how it would be too overwhelming to spend the day with anyone other than her. She said she'd relay the message to Alex when she saw him back in their room, and I was very grateful for that. Then Lily called to tell us her and Kat's plans for the next day and I told her ours. I also took the time to explain to her my anxiety attack and that I wasn't trying to be an asshole or anything by leaving so suddenly. She was very understanding and cool and ended the phone call with, "I love you!" so I said, "I love you too!" She is so cute and sweet!

Laura and I spent some more time talking and joking around before we called it a night. In my notebook, I wrote notes to remind me of what to write about for the day and this was the last one:

"Laura likes talking to me about animals and life and stuff. And I feel the same about her. We get each other, and I think that's cool!"

Even though there were some exasperating moments that day, the good far outweighed the bad, and I'll always remember Kensington Gardens, laughing with Laura, and See You Next Tuesday as a fabulous start to 2004.