I have this book called Clearing Your Clutter With Feng Shui. It's an awesome book, and in it, there are two principles that have stuck with me:

1) Keep only things that make you happy.

2) Keep things you use often and get rid of things you do not.

The first part makes the most sense. After reading that, I got rid of books that reminded me of ex-friends, of stationary I'd never use, of clothes I never liked.

And I wondered if I should part with my saxophone.

Then I forgot about it until the next time I wondered it, and so on and so forth. Part of me wanted to hang onto my horn. And parted of me wanted to let it go. I felt torn.

See, the only reason I kept my saxophone was the hope that I'd play it again one day. I'd look at it and remember the fun I had with it, the competitions I participated in with it, the solos I jammed out on it during jazz band. I hoped I'd have that again someday. But I've finally come to the realization that that's not going to happen. I have TMJ, an annoying jaw problem, that's normally not painful or aggravating as long as I avoid the following activities:

- clenching my teeth

- eating a whole apple, without cutting it into little pieces first

- eating fresh carrots, without steaming them or cooking them first

- eating ice

- chewing pencils

- biting fingernails

- chewing gum

- playing my saxophone

The last one is the one that sucks the most.

I've been bad about playing my flute or my saxophone regularly ever since I stopped participating in school bands. But I still play from time to time. My flute, that is. I've mostly stayed away from the saxophone, for fear of aggravating my jaw. When I pick up my flute after not playing for a while, I still sound pretty good, which always surprises me. So, a few months ago, I picked up my saxophone, just to try it out for a few minutes.

After playing those few minutes, I realized that I sounded totally crappy. As if that wasn't enough of a bummer, my neck hurt, and my left hand was already falling asleep. I seem to have a sensitive nerve in my left shoulder that causes my arm to fall asleep when pressure is applied. Really annoying, I must say. And the clincher that sealed the deal: my jaw was stiff and aching. I sadly came to the conclusion that playing the saxophone was no longer fun for me.

It still took me a while to finally decide I was ready to part with it. I think what finally changed my mind is that every single time I'd look at it, or think of it, instead of thinking of happy jazz band memories, I'd only feel sad that I'd never play it again. And I just don't feel right about hanging onto stuff that makes me sad, and that I can't use anymore.

Last week, I decided I had to just do it. I called some music stores, but no luck there. So I took some pictures and put them online, then posted to Craigslist. And, my god, do a lot of people want my saxophone!

Two people emailed me in the first hour, and I got several more emails that night. One or two new people emailed me since then, as well, and three of these people have asked to see it. One of the guys actually freaked me out a little bit with his repeated emails. With every new email from that guy, I found myself saying to the computer screen, "Dude, just chill out." Anyway, I'm going to meet with them in the order they got in touch with me, since that seems only fair. It looks like I'll be meeting with the first guy this week. He seems really cool, and if he wants it, I'll be happy to sell it to him.

That's the other thing. "I'll be happy to sell it to him"? I didn't expect myself ever to feel that way! But the excitement emanating from these guys' emails made me realize they'll actually pick up the horn and play it on a regular basis. Someone will be making amazing music on this saxophone, breathing new life into it with every scale and jazz run they play. Someone will be excited every time they pick it up, like I used to be.

Sure, the saxophone has a lot of memories, which makes it kind of difficult. Luckily, those memories are with me, and will remain so, even after my saxophone and I have parted ways. And seriously, if I love the saxophone as much as I do for all the happy memories its given me (and I do), I owe it to the horn to give it a new life of love and music, rather than the one its been living in my closet, unplayed, for years. And even though I'd like to, I can't give it that new life myself. So I'm finding someone who can and will, and that's something I can feel good about.