I love the sound of the vertical blinds gently clacking against each other in the cool breeze. Besides my typing and the hum of the running computers, it's the only sound in the house. The cats are calm, and Joe is fast asleep (he's having allergy troubles today). And I am finally in the mood to write!

All week long, I've wanted to tell you things (important things!), but no time ever felt right to just sit and click out the words on the keyboard. It's always so nice, though, when calm moments slide back into our busy lives, and allow us the chance to catch up on a few things.

So, first things first... I am feeling much better about Martin now. Writing about him was very cathartic, and now I am at peace with the idea that he is gone. He was so loved, and even though I'll never see him again, he'll always be part of my life.

Part of me wishes I was writing this outside. I really should take my notebook on one of my hikes sometime. I went hiking by myself for the first time this week. I've gone walking alone before, but never on the trails at the Open Space. It was nice, and I felt happy to prove to myself that I can do it. It's nice to let go of those fears of getting sick on the trail or passing out or something, and just walk and enjoy it. Sometimes, it's really important for me to just trust in the universe that I'll be okay. And I was. In fact, I hiked on down to the pond and meditated. This is the same place that Bobbi and I hike at every week. A while ago, I saw tadpoles in the water, and felt so excited! Tadpoles! In the water! And then, do you know what happened? I'm sure you do. A few weeks later, we went again, and, AND! THERE WERE FROGS!!! Lots of little tiny baby frogs, hopping all over the bank of the pond, swimming in the water, being all cute and small. I said to Bobbi, "I can't believe how many frogs there are! Look! Frogs! There were all those tadpoles, and now they're frogs."

"Yes, Meg, that's kind of how it works," she said.

But. I KNOW that. It's just that... I'd never SEEN it before! I never had a place out in nature that I used to visit regularly as a kid. At least, not regularly enough to view gradual changes as they happened. No pond where I'd see the frogs every year. That's kind of strange considering what a nature/animal nut I am. I guess, as a kid, chasing crickets and roly polies in my neighborhood was enough to satisfy my love of wildlife. And now, for the first time in my life, I am seeing the processes I always knew and understood from books right before my very eyes. And it's just awe inspiring!

So I sat and watched the frogs. Hundreds and hundreds of teeny frogs, all jumping around all over the place, and I breathed deeply and meditated. I just closed my eyes and breathed, feeling the sun on my skin, seeing bright pink colors swirling around on the inside of my eyelids as the sun danced upon my face. I heard skittering sounds, and realized the squirrels were playing near by. Birds splashed in the pond as they bathed on the bank opposite me. Everything just felt right out there.

This morning, I took Misti to the Open Space for the first time. I told you about the snake I saw, right? A few weeks later, I saw another gopher snake just sitting out in the open, sunbathing! That was about all the wildlife I ever expected to see before today. Today, we walked in the gate of the Open Space and we saw something amazing. About thirty feet in front of us? A COYOTE! A coyote!!! I'd heard they were around, but ON the trail?? Wow!! And so beautiful, too. He looked like a big gray dog, but... not. Those giant ears and skinny legs gave him away. We watched him as he sauntered down one path, then Misti and I went the OTHER way. It was really cool to see him, but kind of scary in a way, too. I'm still glad it happened.

We also saw another unusual sight - beautiful butterflies that were periwinkle blue. They were almost purple, but not quite. Misti had only seen this kind one other time before in her life, and they were completely new to me. There were three of them, and they fluttered nearby, landed and rested a bit, then flew around some more. A fourth one joined them a little later, and they all wandered playfully around the bank.

As we watched the butterflies, tadpoles, and frogs, conversation turned towards our own lives, and the changes we're currently going through. It fascinates me that while things are coming up that seem big and important and sometimes even tough to go through, here are these little animals going through their life phases and changes every year, too. I guess we're all changing and growing, really. From the frogs growing legs and letting go of their tails to our new jobs, new cities, new spiritual developments, we're all dealing with the changes in our lives in our own way. It's somehow comforting to see that I'm not the only one dealing with new stuff in life. I'm just one person in a web of creatures all dealing with the same stuff. And as we head into summer, I'm feeling more excited about all of it. I'm not necessarily looking forward to packing, but I know that somehow it will all fall into place. If caterpillars can go to sleep trusting they'll wake up as butterflies, then I can trust that our move to L.A. will go just fine. In fact, I think it'll be great.