Tonight was the last night in Self Defense Class. Now I can officially kick someone's ass! Or, at least, now I know how to cause some damage so I can run like hell and escape from an attack, if necessary. Let's just hope it's never necessary, eh?

I am actually sad that tonight was the last class. I definitely would have liked to keep going. I have enjoyed it from the beginning, but the past two weeks, it's grown on me even more.

One thing I was having trouble with for a while was wanting to skip class to avoid the scary stuff. I've been told I have a super sensitive neck and to be careful not to injure it, lest I be paralyzed. Yeah, paralysis! It took me a while to get up the courage to ride Star Tours or Indiana Jones at Disneyland, because of that doctor. I was fine, though.

Still, when we started doing forward rolls in class, they freaked me the hell out.

The goal is to roll in such a way that you roll from one shoulder to the opposite hip, and never touch your head or neck to the mat. We practiced a few times, then moved on to rolling over other people, and doing rolls from a standing position! I was terrified, and hesitating, and therefore, totally sucking at it! So, three weeks ago, Bob (my instructor) had me and another woman (also terrified) practice ONLY the forward rolls with one of the green-belt guys. Sounds easy enough, right?

Well, imagine doing somersaults over and over for FORTY-FIVE minutes! That's basically what we did. However, as I (attempted to) described earlier, they're different than somersaults. The forward rolls are designed to be safer for your head, neck, and back. They're just really hard to learn! Over and over I rolled, a few times incorrectly. Horribly incorrectly! Oh, the humanity! Those few times, I landed right smack on my shoulder and hurt the hell out of myself. Dear god, was I sore the next day! The next week, in fact!

Actually, the next day, I felt so banged up, I called Misti and asked if she could give me my birthday massage. And she said yes! Misti is my hero! That was the first professional massage I've ever gotten, and damn, was it ever awesome! If you've never gotten one before, I highly recommend it. In fact, I may need to get another one sometime soon, because it just felt so freakin' good.

Last week (one week after the forward roll/shoulder injury day), I was still slightly sore in my shoulder and felt scared to death to go to Self Defense Class. I didn't want to re-injure my shoulder. I didn't want to risk any other injuries. Mostly, I felt scared and wanted an excuse not to go. I called my mom, saying, "I'm not sure I really want to go..." I was feeling down that day, anyway, because of annoying car issues (which is another story altogether). I fully expected Mom to let me off the hook, to tell me to stay home if I wasn't feeling well.

Instead, she surprised me by saying, "I think you should go. You never know, you might have fun once you get there. Besides, you can always leave if you feel sick, but I think you'll have a good time, and this is important stuff for anyone to learn. So, go."

"Okay," I said, somewhat reluctantly. "I'm sure you're right..."

"Keep positive, Meggy! Like you always tell me!" Mom said, upbeat.

A smile swept across my face, and I felt myself perk up as I laughed and said, "You're absolutely right!" It's bizarre being fed back your own words, but it can be a good, good thing.

I went to class.

Bob always makes us laugh. He's a fun guy. He's older, a former cop, and a blackbelt. Sometimes he wears sweatshirts with Goofy on them. Bob has known one of the girls in class, Mallory, since before she was born. He is friends with her parents, and she is a junior in high school. Because she knows him so well, she'll often joke with him, or be a smartass. It's pretty entertaining. That day, Mallory said in her best Asian action star voice, "Sensei Bob, someday soon, the day will come when student surpasses teachah!"

Bob said, "That day'll never come if you keep runnin' your mouth!"

She started in with another comeback and he raced over to her, and tripped her, knocking her right over in one second flat. Everyone, including Mallory, busted up laughing!

That night, we had to attack the padded mat. Bob wanted us to see how much energy it takes to attack for a full forty-five seconds. We had to start out on our backs on the ground, up on one elbow. The person holding the padded mat would circle you, and you had to chase it and kick it, and flip over and kick with the other foot when the mat was on the other side. Then Bob would yell, "Stop! On your feet! Punch!" And we'd throw our various punches as he called them out: regular punching, hammer blows, palm thrusts. Then, kicking: side kick, front kick, back kick. "Breathe! Breathe!" he kept yelling, because it's tempting to hold your breath during an attack.

I was nervous when it came down to the last few people. There were about three girls left, including me. I couldn't take the suspense of wondering who he'd choose, so... I volunteered! I kicked, I flipped over, I kicked some more, I punched with all my might, and kicked the mat as hard as I could. Which, sadly? Wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. After forty-five seconds, I was WIPED! It is SHOCKING how tiring that is!!! It was awesome! Out of breath, smiling and panting, I sat down and guzzled my water.

Everyone else went, and one guy went a second time. "Anyone else want to go again?" Bob asked.

I raised my hand!

The second time, I did much better. I forced myself to say, "HUH!" every time I hit and kicked the mat. That, in turn, forced me to inhale deeply, taking huge breaths, and giving me more power to hit even harder. My blows to the mat were far more powerful the second time around, which made me very happy! Bob complimented me on my breathing and my mad attacking skillz. I left class that night feeling like a total badass!

Tonight, I knew I wanted to go to class, it being the last one and all. Plus, it was so fun last week, I expected only good things. I wasn't disappointed.

Tonight we played "The Knife Game," which goes like this: Two people lie down on opposite sides of the large mat, head towards the middle of the mat. They close their eyes while Bob puts the rubber knife somewhere between the two people. He yells, "Ready, go!" Both people flip over and scramble towards the knife as fast as they can and whoever grabs it first can try to stab the other person. I never grabbed it! All the times I did it, my partner got there before me, and then didn't try to stab me! So, I don't think I got a lot of knife defense practice, but it was fun, anyway.

So that's it! Class is over, and I will miss it. I learned some cool punches, kicks, throws, as well as other stuff, like how to hit the windpipe and gouge out eyes, or how to hammerblow the corotid artery to stun someone enough to get away. Also good: shin scraping and foot stomping.

I liked that the class was based on martial arts techniques. It was so physically challenging and fun! And every time I left class, my confidence levels were sky high. Including tonight! I feel like I could go kick someone's ASS! I'd love to continue martial arts training of some kind, because it's so good for me, physically and mentally/emotionally. We'll see what happens in the Fall. If time allows, I'll try to find a class. If not, there's always time for that post-college. I'm definitely excited I took this class, though. I'm happy with all I learned, not least of which was to just go forth in life, even when it's scary. And, I learned that I really do have an Inner Badass. And really, what's more important than that?