I've been having WEIRD dreams.

1) There was a view of a sunset, but it was not the way a real one looks. It was as if an antique, romantic painting of a sunset had come to life before my eyes. Then I saw a red rose in full bloom, again with that antique kind of look to it. I think there was music playing, too, and that's all I remember before I woke up and thought, "Goddamn, that's one of the girliest dreams I've ever had!"

2) My grandmother looked fairly young and vibrant (a little better than how she looked the last time I saw her). She hugged me and said, "It's so obvious how much you love animals. It's really important for you to work with them. The animals, I'm sure, are glad to have you, too. They probably work with you one day and then they're hooked!" I felt so happy to have such kind words from her and as I walked away, I began to cry, wondering if that was the last time I'd see her alive.

In real life, I haven't seen my grandmother in years. She's 91, and she doesn't like animals at all, really, and last I knew, she wasn't too keen on the idea of me working with them. So basically, I have no idea what the hell that dream was about!

3) I got a letter in the mail from the EATM counselor. It was typed in pink ink, and it said I was welcome to join the program this year. I cried and cried, because I was so happy. Then I woke up and realized it was a dream and had one of those moments where I tried to fall back asleep. Maybe I can will it to be true if I can dream it some more!

4) I was working at Home Depot and a British guy asked me what a cell phone is. "Back home," he told me, "we have home phones and Japanese phones. What are cell phones?"

I pulled mine out of my pocket and said, "This is one," and noticed I had a voice message. I went outside to listen to it, and it was P, a lady I used to petsit for. She said I needed to pick up Bailey and Kula later that night, in New Jersey. I called her and said, "I think it'll take more than one day for me to drive to New Jersey!"

"No, it'll be okay! I'll call you when you need to leave. Go home and get some sleep."

I began to walk home when my cell rang again. I picked it up, expecting it to be P, but it was someone else. "You don't recognize my voice?" she said.

It was Camille, my old penpal from Sweden (who, in real life, I lost touch with years ago). I talked to her as I walked through some hills along a somewhat grassy, tree lined trail (just like the trails around here that I hike). I tried to pay attention to her, but somehow I came across this amazing view of all these ruins! They were tall and made of brown brick. The structures were almost like pyramids with flat tops instead of pointed ones and I think are similar to Mayan ruins I may have seen pictures of before. I was awestruck and felt so excited to have come across something so beautiful! Then I realized I had walked pretty far and needed to get back. I looked at the hill I'd just come down and it was huge and steep. With my cell phone nestled between my ear and my shoulder, I used both arms and both legs to climb my way back to the top of the hill. My friend was telling me that she wanted me to plan a trip for her mom to visit my mom for three weeks, because her mom had learned a lot about self love. "I think it's one of the things she's supposed to learn in this life. It's one of her exit points." I took that to mean that we all have points in our lives in which we learn great lessons, and when we do, we're allowed to leave this life (like "Quantam Leap"!) and move on to the afterlife.

While I found that pretty interesting, I thought about how my mom didn't like her mom that much and would hate to have a visitor for three weeks (they don't know each other in real life). I had visions of her mom and dad (which were actually the parents of my childhood friend, Delayna, but hey it's a dream, let's mix it all up!) while I told her that three weeks would be too much for my mom. I was still talking on the phone on my way back to Home Depot, when I was suddenly on the beach and a storm arised within seconds. The skies were dark gray, and rain poured down. I was soaked standing on the sand and purple lightning flashed in the sky above me. I looked for my car, which took a while to find. Suddenly, I was just inside my car and driving and I almost hit a girl with curly wet hair, wearing white, standing in the middle of a bunch of cars that had all been parked on the beach, all trying to get home. I think the girl standing in front of my car was an ex-friend of mine from L.A., J. I woke up at that point, thinking that was really, really strange.

5) I was in some kind of village that reminds me of the way little European towns look. I had a tiny clock that allowed me to fly. It was like a hover-clock! I flew around with it, holding it in my arms, floating slowly from place to place, high above the town. Below me were TONS of huge buildings and houses, except... They were all clocks! Just tons and tons of old fashioned clocks, all together. A town of clocks! Then I was flying inside a building, and I think I was trying to land on a coffee table to finish some homework because one of my teachers was nearby and was going to be expecting it. Or something. I don't really remember. I woke up wanting to draw it, wanting to write it all down so that I'd remember. I was SO tired, though, so I put my head back down and told myself over and over, "Remember the clocks." And by golly, that's about all I do remember from that dream! It was pretty cool! I also remember thinking that Clock Town looked a hell of a lot like the same place as those ruins. Both dreams had the same... texture. If that makes any sense. I just had the feeling it was the same place, somehow. Weird.

6) I was in a pet store and a guy there was helping me find a new pet. He showed me a tarantula and I really liked it. It looked so different from other tarantulas I'd seen. Its legs were so thick and it was pretty tiny and compact. He said its legs were really hard and it couldn't feel anything inside its super thick exoskeleton, so he banged on it, and the spider didn't even flinch. He also said it has an amazing ability to regrow its exoskeleton super fast, and to test it if I wanted to. I saw that his claw (he had a crab claw. I know, weird, huh?) was coming off, so I peeled it off, revealing a pale pink claw underneath, and then it started running around like it was upset. I immediately felt guilty! The tarantula's cage had moss in it, and in the moss I saw something small crawling around. "A snake!" I exclaimed.

The guy came closer and picked up the baby snake. He and I were both looking at it, and he touched it in such a way that agitated it. The snake struck... ME. His fangs sank into my left thumb and I didn't move. I just waited for it to unclench.

"Oh this is a coral snake," he said.

"Uh, so it's poisonous??"

"Yes."

"Okay, then, you're going to drive me to the hospital, right?"

"Of course," he said calmly.

I was freaking out. My hand was going numb. We walked to his car and I hopped in the passenger's seat and buckled myself in.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "You've got to help me get the car started."

I got out, and he and I both pushed the car to get it going, then planned to run and hop inside after it got started.

"We need to push it in an R!" he said, so we pushed it around in an R shape, and almost hit a parked cop car. With officers inside! I was afraid we'd get arrested. I was also worrying about frightening Joe when I called to tell him of my snake bite. "Oh no, now he'll always worry about my working with animals," I thought to myself.

I vaguely remember us actually arriving at the hospital and then I woke up. And then I thought, "Why didn't I just have the officers in that cop car take me to the hospital?" I'm suddenly so logical once I'm awake!

7) There were baby opossums in my mom's house! I picked one up and it bit me and I felt very sad, knowing I couldn't take it to a rescue place or else they'd euthanize it. I knew I needed to release it myself, so I planned to. But first I made a stop at my house, but the cats were trying to kill the opossums! Eventually, I made it outside and released the opossums by a tree and a stream and felt good about that. When I went back inside, there were tons of lit tealight candles and I thought, "How could I have left the house with all these candles burning?! That's so unsafe! I'm glad the house didn't burn down!"

What in the -- ?

Anyway, here's hoping I'll have more wacky dreams that I can remember! It's like crazy television... in my head!