Um, yeah, so... here's the thing. I'm not going to go to one of my classes tomorrow. Or take the final. In fact, I'm abandoning my History of Rap Music class completely. I'm taking it pass/no pass and this will mean I'm just accepting a "no pass" status.

I have a paper due tomorrow. It's supposed to be 7-10 pages, and I haven't started it. I know this is bad, but I just really didn't want to do any work in that class, and I suppose it's obvious that I indulged in those feelings 100%.

Earlier this evening, I actually did intend to pull it off. I went to the music library to work on my paper with Ronni. She needed to work on her paper for her music class, too. I went to the computers in the back room, searching for the interviews I was supposed to listen to. And I couldn't find them anywhere! I couldn't even think of where they were. I knew I had the url at home, so I sighed, and decided to browse some blogs while killing time, waiting for traffic to die down so that I could go home.

Then I ran a search for pass/no pass status, to read about what all it entails. And the site I found said something like, "Pass/No Pass status is an option available to you so that you can explore areas you may or may not be interested in with no penalty to your GPA." I highlighted that last bit and just let it sink in. No penalty. No elective credit, either, but who cares? I can make that up.

By the time Ronni came in to check on me (and found the online interviews in about 2.5 seconds), I'd already pretty much made up my mind.

It was still a little hard to realize I'd made such a decision. I've NEVER failed a class before. I've always withdrawn long before that happens! Ha. Withdrawing from this class would have meant screwing up my financial aid, though (falling below "full time" status, etc, etc). But anyway, having never done anything like this before, it's very weird to just give up.

On the other hand, it's not exactly "failing," per se. There's no F on my transcript, no damage to my grade. And not having to deal with it anymore relieves a LOT of stress and allows me to focus on the classes that actually affect my major. I'm going to throw myself into Statistics now, full speed ahead! Truly, if I study hard enough, it actually is possible to pull off an A in that class. That would mean three As this quarter! I'm going to go for it!

I'm so used to the transfer-student mentality, and by that I mean I actually had a moment earlier where I thought, "But how will that LOOK on my transcript?" Well, it won't look like much to anyone because I'm not going to grad school. If I go to another school after UCLA, it'll be EATM, and they sure as hell don't care about my grade in the History of Rap Music.

The main thing is I have to make sure not to make a habit out of this. It has to be a one-time thing. And that's totally fine by me. I'll relax a bit, work hard to ace my other finals, and be far more organized next quarter. Sounds like a plan to me!