I'm sleepy as hell. My throat is sore. And my body is heavy with exhaustion. It can mean only one thing: Another fine time at JournalCon has come to a close!

JournalCon 2005 rocked my socks, man! Misti was unable to come and be my guest as previously planned, which was sad. But, I found another roommate in time for the con, and in the end, it all worked out. There were a lot of really cool people at San Diego JournalCon, many of whom I'd never met before. There were also many familiar faces, belonging to friendly people who I was happy to see again. Even though I'd been to two other cons before, I still felt the nervous newbie "What if I hate everyone and what if they hate me??" feelings that I'd had before JCons San Francisco and Austin. And as usual, there was no need. Everyone was great, and I had a really fun weekend!

When I arrived, I was pretty tired. Only the night before had I finally decided to start making swag (procrastination, anyone?). "How long could it take?" I wondered. Pretty long, it turns out! I started at 7pm and finished by 4am, getting to bed only a short time later. Luckily, the swag-making coincided nicely with being able to simultaneously watch a bunch of recorded t.v. programs. And, my swag turned out pretty (if I do say so myself). I'd never made swag before, so the fact that it turned out all right and that I had something to bring for everyone made me feel all cool. Cool, in that special geeky way, of course.

Mo Pie and Pratt greeted me with smiles at the welcome table (making me feel quite welcome - they're good at what they do). And as luck would have it, my roommate, Erica, was standing right there, too! That was convenient. "So Meg, what's your room number?"

"I don't know. Erica?"

Anyway, I dropped off my swag at the swag table, claimed a few fun items for myself, and then Erica and I went to the room to drop off all my crap. Even though dinner was going to start soon, I was starving, and wanted chicken bad. We hit Baja Fresh, where it quickly became apparent that we were both major chatterboxes. Only good things could come from this! Erica got her food almost immediately, and we waited forever to get my taco. At one point while we were waiting, Erica made me laugh by saying, "What are they doing, slaughtering the chicken in the back??" Once I finally got my taco, it was quite delicious. And not too filling to prevent me from eating the delicious dinner later on, too. Speaking of dinner, that was a lot of fun. We ate awesome food and played a game called Jingo (JournalCon + Bingo)! We got people to sign our squares and learned a bit about each other in the process, too. I found other Taureans, and someone who was the youngest in their family. I did not win, though. I really wanted to eat! I didn't realize people would work so fast to fill up their Jingo spaces during dinner (that's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it!), and soon, all the prizes were won! It was a very fun game, as evidenced by the fact that a bunch of people kept playing even when there were no more prizes to be had. I didn't fill up my card, but I still had fun playing while it lasted.

After dinner, I sat and talked with the women at my table for a while, including Amanda Page, LA, ThatGrrl, and Deb. We shared many amusing cat stories, as well as interesting movie conversation, and I loved just talking about life with other people. That's what makes JournalCon so much fun - simply enjoying the company of people who I otherwise may never have met if it weren't for the beautiful oddity that is online journalling. I was feeling a little sleepy, but not nearly as much as the East Coast folks, I'm sure. KarenD came by and chatted, too, and when I said I felt slightly indecisive about what to do next, she said, "Well, if you go out, it means I won't have to, because I know you'll write about it." That made me laugh, because it's so true! The vicarious JournalCon experience - always a fun time! It's hard to feel like you missed out on much when you know every single person is going to write about their con experience, and seriously, reading all those entries, all those different perspectives on the same event, is one of my very favorite parts of these get togethers! So anyway! KarenD, this is for you...

Erica and I changed into something warmer before venturing out to search for the attendees that had hit a bar. San Diego was cold and cloudy this weekend, which means Fall has officially hit Southern California (it also meant I could wear my newly purchased courderoys and long sleeved shirts - woo!). After a long conversation with a valet guy and his telephone book, we had decent enough directions to find the bar. And find it, we did! Though, we actually found journallers in a bar that was not the one we were searching for, unbeknownst to us. And I'm glad it worked out that way! Soon, we were sitting and laughing with Minarae, Pratt, Mary Ann, and Arianne. I had a cider, and then Pratt bought everyone a round of kamikaze shots, which turned out to be pretty damn big, as far as shots go!

Then we headed to the bar in the hotel, where more fun conversation and drinking ensued. On the way, Pratt bought us all glittery flowers, which was really cool of him! So we sat with flowers on the table, while drinking and enjoying each other's company. Jake and Mare came by, too, and we reminisced about Mare making me feel so much better by buying me a drink the moment I arrived at JCon Austin. And Jake made me smile by saying, "I'm so glad you're here! I see you at every JournalCon!" Two apple martinis later, the room was growing more spinny, and people were starting to head out. Erica went with a group to find food, and invited me to come with, but I was feeling pretty out of it. Pratt paid for our drinks, revealing his generosity once more, before he, Arianne and I all headed upstairs.

Once I got to the room and laughed a bit at my drunkenness while wobbling around, I felt reaffirmed in my decision not to go out, though I kind of wished I'd gone, just because I hate to miss anything, ever. I hit the pillow and the room spun and I tried to just calmly endure it before sleep swallowed me whole. At one point I woke up and saw that Erica was out cold, so I'd completely slept through her coming back. Then I fell back to sleep and had one crazy-ass dream!

I dreamt that I woke up and saw Erica in bed, then realized our hotel room door had been open all night. I woke her up, worriedly telling her what had happened. She was alarmed and told me to check the bathroom. So I scoped it out, cop style, back against the wall, hands clasped and fingers pointing as though they were actually guns. I turned on the shower, then the light. No burglars hiding out in there. Whew! Then, a voice from inside our room says, "Can you please turn off the water?" It was a little old lady, sitting in the arm chair in the middle of the room. We were freaked out and told her she had to leave, that this was our room! And then I woke up.

Maybe that was the moment I woke up at 6am. Whether it was from the dream or not, I did wake up at 6, and laid in bed, body exhausted and mind whirring like crazy. It was both boring and exhausting and I didn't fall back asleep for at least forty minutes! Weird!

I managed to get more sleep, and feel well enough to get to the 9am panel, where they were serving mimosas for those who asked the panelists questions. The topic was Person vs. Persona, which was very interesting. I liked discussing how different or alike your in-person self is versus your online writing. I did end up asking a question and drinking a mimosa. But my god, even though it was delicious, that was a mistake, on my part. I felt queasy immediately after the last sip, and suddenly got scared, realizing there was no trash can in sight and I hadn't checked to find out where the nearest restroom was (pretty near, I later realized, but whatever). I breathed, reminding myself that I didn't actually feel that horrible and that I'd be fine. Thankfully, I was right, and the feeling passed, much to the completely unaware and unknowing delight of everyone else, I'm sure.

I grabbed a banana and croissant before the next panel, which was readings from Diarist.net Award winners, which was really cool. I love hearing people read their own writing. I get a sense of their voice, and their story-telling style, which sticks with me when I visit their sites afterwards.

Then we all split up for lunch. Erica and I ended up being part of a large group that headed to Rock Bottom, a microbrewery and restaurant that had amazing food. Even more amazing was the generous Fredlet, who paid for our meal. I was floored! That was so very cool of her!

Back at the hotel, the last panel of the day was the popularity panel, where we discussed pros and cons of having a popular site. I just thought it was amazing that anyone could even get a thousand hits a day! I mean, seriously. Wow! That's like... a LOT. It was also astounding to hear of some popular journallers being plagued by hate mail of the worst kind. And amazing to hear about the generosity of complete strangers wanting to help people or give gifts. Isn't the world a nutty place? There are so many people who want to reach out and say nice things and possibly form friendships with others, and so many others who just want to be total dicks. It boggles the mind, really.

Erica and I ended up back at the bar we'd been to the night before, Hennessey's, this time to eat dinner. We joined up with some other folks and had a nice meal, though it was louder in there than expected. A group of guys were drunk and loud together across the bar. At one point, one of the guys casually picked up a chair and lifted it over his head. Then he lowered it to face level, and from what I could tell, totally made out with that chair. Fun times!

We hung out back in our room before karaoke was to start, and because I am a giant freak, just knowing I'd already signed up for songs made me nervous starting a full hour before karaoke was even supposed to start!! I headed over there and ordered a cranberry and vodka, and soon began feeling much better! The room we'd had panels in was all decked out to give it a more karaoke-friendly ambience. The lights were dimmed, there were rainbow spotlights moving around the room, as well as a spinning starry ball, that gave off a cool effect. I had intended to go back and forth between karaoke and Texas Hold 'Em next door, because I actually am a fan of poker, and wanted to learn more about how to play. But soon, I got into the groove of the singing and dancing and cheering for other people who were singing and dancing, that I couldn't tear myself away. I don't know. There's something about a mix of people singing, laughing, being silly, and drinking, that is just such a damn fun time.

I was happily surprised that so many different people told me they liked that I sang Particle Man! That was fun. I saw it on the list back when it was first posted online, and I signed up immediately - how could I not? Then later, I got called up on a song, The Way You Do The Things You Do, and I was very confused. On the one hand, I didn't remember signing myself up for that one. On the other hand, I had looked at some oldies songs to sing. Had I accidentally pressed enter that one day when I kept entering in songs, changing my mind and deleting them, trying to pick which ones I wanted to step up to the plate for? I was confused, but started singing, and the lovely and incredibly sweet Bozoette joined me, which rocked. And as I started to sit down, I heard Disease by Matchbox 20 start up, and I knew I'd definitely signed up for that one! So I suddenly felt on the spot and nervous, which was weird, since I was already up there! But I just kept going, and it was a lot of fun. I love that song! After it ended, I talked to Bozoette, and there had been a mixup - she had signed herself up for the song, and they were just out of order on the names. She said, "I hope you don't mind that I jumped in," which surprised me, because I was just glad she wasn't angry at me for accidentally hijacking her song!

As the night went on, I drank a bit more, danced a bit more, took lots of blurry pictures, and some way too short movies. That's what paranoia of running out of memory space will do to a person! Anyway, here's a couple clips (all formatted as .wmv files in Windows Movie Maker)...

Jake (10 sec, .5 MB)

Monty (25 sec, 1 MB)

Jessi's sisters (18 sec, 1 MB)

Jessi, & friends/family (16 sec, 81 MB)

Bozoette, et al (10 sec, .5 MB)

Jake, again (35 sec, 1.5 MB)

Pratt and Mo Pie (27 sec, 1 MB)

I had a total of two cranberry and vodkas and two screwdrivers, and while I know that doesn't sound like a lot, I hadn't had anything to drink before JournalCon since my birthday back in April! So it hit me pretty hard, which, is pretty fun, really.

I LOVED seeing everyone perform. People were actually pretty good singers, too! And everyone just had fun up there. Bozoette sang great motown songs, Jessi and her family/friends all rocked. Jessi did some rap tunes, managing to look cute and badass at the same time! Awesome stuff. There were scarves and feather boas making their way around the room. Pratt sang on his own, which was fun, and then he also sang backup for me on Istanbul (not Constantinople) and Twist and Shout, which was so awesome. And Weetabix agreed to sing Baby Got Back so that we could be her dancers. That song always gets the house rockin' - I think EVERYONE was up there dancing! Weetabix made me laugh when she was called for one song and said, "Who signed me up for this?" and then added, "You cocksuckers better come up and help me!" Ha!

We ended the night with Punk Rock Girl and afterwards, Jake was talking to Hez and came over and hugged me, while saying, "...And Meg! You have to love the Meg!" which made me laugh. That guy is adorable! Then he cracked me up by telling Hez, "Meg is cool, she always comes to JournalCon and she brought her husband that one time, but-" and I had to remind him, "No I didn't - we've had this conversation!" It was the same conversation as the night before. It was all very silly and the alcohol we'd consumed made it seem all the sillier, which was fantastic.

We headed to a bar since karaoke was closing and our hotel's bar was closed, too. What's with bars closing at midnight on a Saturday?? How weird! We ended up back at Hennessey's once more, where the world's loudest raggae band was playing. In spite of that, Arianne was falling asleep at the table, so she, Pratt and I decided to escape the noise vibrations and save our ear drums and throats (we had to shout in each other's ears just to have a conversation), and go get some sleep.

When I got to the room, Erica was watching scary zombies on Dawn of the Dead, which I was not feeling particularly up for, so I called Joe from the bathroom and talked to him for a little while. I got off the phone when I hit a slump of tiredness, saying I should get some sleep. I set my alarm and went out to the bed and started chatting with Erica. And somehow, there was a time warp of some sort, a tear in the universe's space time continuum! Because, somehow, our few minutes of conversation was actually a few hours, which I didn't realize until Erica interrupted herself mid-sentence to declare, "And we will NEVER go to sleep, so we must just stop talking!" And I glanced at the clock, surprised at the time, and that my strong buzz had waned quite a bit. I agreed, and after pulling the down feather blanket off the bed, finally curled up to get some sleep.

I am surprised I woke up when I did, forty minutes after my alarm went off. The alarm had long since stopped ringing, but I know I set it properly. And I know it turns itself off after a while, so apparently, I slept straight through it! I got ready as fast as I could, but had still only really had about four hours of sleep. I was feeling really zoned out in the first panel of the morning, and I don't think I was the only one. Everyone seemed sort of worn out and quiet. We did blind items where Minarae read descriptions of journallers and we had to guess who she was talking about. I dorkily didn't recognize myself, because it had to do with Paris. I was in the middle of thinking, "There's a journaller here who lives in Paris? How cool!" (Pablo visited from London, it wasn't that far-fetched!), when Minarae said, "It's Meg!" And I suddenly realized that all my recent entries were the Paris ones. Oh yeah! Right! I am a big dork. A big, sleepy, dazed dork. Hee! I got to feel cool again when Minarae said she was glad that even though this year's con hadn't had as much notice as previous cons, the old-school folks still came, and she included me in that group! Erica even turned to me and said, "Dude, you're old school." Awesome! I love it.

During the break, we looked at Pratt's bunny pics, and then Erica's. Bunnies are impossibly cute! That's all there is to it.

The next and last panel of the day involved some really awesome entries read aloud that people had just chosen to share with the rest of us. Once again, very cool to hear entries spoken by the very person who wrote them. I laughed and cried. The entries were just really well written and interesting, snippets of real life, and I'm glad I got to hear them. And suddenly, JournalCon was over!

It went by so fast and slow at the same time, as it always seems to do. This year's con was wonderful! Minarae did an awesome job putting it together, so gotta give her props! I loved the friendliness, the drive-by squees from Pratt, Jecca's pink bat sweater (and sweet personality), the impressions Erica did of her mom as well as a zombie (dude, she's so good, she's scary!), Amanda's crack from Australia (aka TimTams) and the fact that in my third year of online writing, I celebrated my third JournalCon on the third floor. Three has always been my lucky number! So that was just too cool.

For me, this year actually felt slightly different than San Francisco or Austin, in that I felt much more relaxed and in my element than I did at either of those cons. I think I felt kind of intimidated and had this whole "I'm not worthy!" complex or something. This time, I had the attitude that yeah, some people are better writers than me, but we're all just ourselves, writing online in order to share parts of our lives. So, we're really all in the same boat, and it's nice just to chill and get to know each other without any, "OMG it's actually YOU!" stuff freaking me out along the way. Not that I wasn't very excited to meet a lot of the attendess, because I totally was! I just happened to feel more confident and less wigged out this time around, which is always a good thing.

I am so happy to have met so many cool people, several of them local, which is freaking fantastic! And close and far away alike, I've met lots of people I want to keep in touch with. It's so cool to experience those new connections at these types of events. Anyway, I'm incredibly glad I went. JournalCon fuckin' rocks! That's all there is to it, really. I'm already looking forward to next year!