Well, America, we're down to eleven Idol contestants, and all I have to say about these last two episodes is... WTF?

First of all, it's the one thing on everyone's mind, so I gotta say it. How, HOW, for the love of god, was Kevin not even in the bottom THREE?

At least the revelation of that message gave way to my favorite moment, though...

Ryan: One of you is in the bottom three.
Kevin: *nods*
Ryan: And one of you is safe...
Ace and Kevin: *stare expectantly*
Ryan: Kevin, you're safe. Ace, you're in the bottom three.
Ace: *nod*

But, wait! No! That wasn't a nod at all!! Rewind your TiVos and DVRs, everyone. Ace did a small gesture, a lowering of the head that can say only one thing: Uh, 'scuse me, wha??

The total shock on his face was almost enough to make the whole letting-Kevin-slide fiasco worth it. It actually might have been worth it if Ace had gotten voted off! That would have just caused riots, I'm sure.

But still, Kevin. KEVIN! What are you thinking, America??

When Chicken Little, or "the fetus" (as I've heard others call him), sang in his mediocre way, I thought, "Yeah, he's done." Then when he attempted to dance, in the lovely reminiscent style of William Hung, hand wave included, I thought it really couldn't get any worse. THEN, he told Simon off?? Who does this kid think he is?!

Joe kept yelling, "That kid has some BALLS!" and elaborating on just how big his balls must be. One scenario involved a separate bed in his room for them!

Kevin said to Simon, "Yeah, I really wasn't expecting much from you." And I wished, WISHED!, that Simon had said, "I wasn't expecting much from you, either!" Because, really, was anyone? And those who were expecting something? Did he really deliver? REALLY NOW, 10 year old girls! Let's get real! For serious... your man, Kevin, sucks.

Every year this happens! Every year, there's a contestant who just does not belong, because they suck, but America keeps them in, based on personality. America loved the Marine who couldn't sing. Josh? They loved the nice, red-headed crooner, John Stevens, who couldn't sing. And they loved JPL, who couldn't sing OR dance. This year, it's Kevin. The kid will not go away.

The worst part is, his ego is ballooning to amazing proportions, and fast! I think he actually thinks he's good. I think he actually thinks he's sexy. I don't think he even remotely understands that he's a joke. People liked him because he was the sweet, quiet nerd who sang okay, the underdog, a nice kid. And it's funny to call a total nerd a sex symbol, because of the irony. Because it's NOT true, Kevin, you dumbass. Sorry, Kevin. I'm not being rude, I'm being honest! (Heh heh).

It makes sense, though, that someone who can't even remember their lyrics would definitely have to go. That's just an unforgivable offense when it comes to singing competitions. Bye, Melissa! Remember, you're not as sexy as you think you are, don't ever wear those belly shirts again, and maybe drink some water or clear your throat... something.

As far as performances go, I thought Ace was kind of a spaz, and is another contestant who is not as sexy as he thinks he is (also in this category - Katherine McPhee). I hate the lusty eyes expression (that goes for Ace and Katherine, actually). Not as creepy as Constantine from last season, but close.

Bucky. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. Uh, two words: You suck. He sings with his nose and throat! Bleh. At least he picked an okay style song for himself. The comment from Simon about Bucky's Jessica Simpson hair made me laugh.

Katherine McPhee sang pretty well, but that dress was not cool, and also, way too much makeup, man. Sometimes, she does this "sexy" move where she kind of dances in place, and she looks like she's about to faint. Stop that!

I thought Kellie's performance was fairly boring. Mandisa rocked it, as usual! As did my man, Taylor Hicks! I love that guy! I can't stop saying that every time he's on camera!

Another exciting week in American Idol. I'm already looking forward to Tuesday! Who will be next to go? Maybe Bucky? Stay tuned! I know I will!!