Let me first announce that, yes, I cooked a new recipe. No, no, don't worry! The chicken is fine! Let's just get that out of the way, first -- The chicken is okay. Everyone calm down. It's a little oily, but no worse for wear. In fact, I'd say my first attempt at following a very intimidating recipe (for me) came out pretty well.

You see, cooking is not exactly second nature to me. So, if you were to speak to me about choosing recipes? Buying ingredients? My response would be, Um, what? What are you talking about? Well actually, I'd be thinking that in my head, while saying, "Hmm, yes, of course, that sounds easy."

So the fact that I actually DID choose a recipe to try out is extremely adventurous, indeed. It's all part of my new, "Let's cook at home and be healthy!" kick. So I chose a cashew chicken recipe, because nothing says healthy quite like oily Chinese food! Why didn't it occur to me that this was not such a healthy dish before I started? Did the peanut oil not clue me in? Well, no, and why would it, really? That would require thinking straight and some observation on my part, neither of which has been occurring in great quantities, what with the cold and everything (sure, Meg, blame it on the cold... quiet, you!).

I actually bought ingredients a few days ago, when I first found the recipe. Then I got myself all psyched up to start cooking! I checked the recipe online and at the top of the list? Peanut oil. Which I had forgotten at the store.

Okay, fine.

Then yesterday I thought I'd cook the chicken anyway, for a different chicken dinner recipe that I like to call Throwing It In The Oven. But sadly, the chicken had expired. Off to the store for peanut oil and more chicken.

While at the store, I managed to get chicken juice all over my hand by picking up a certain drippy package. I abandoned my cart to find the restrooms and wash my hands. Luckily, my cart had not been touched when I returned. Instead of buying chicken from the Bad Area (how dirty), I grabbed a package from the other side of the display. Ha! I escaped the goopey chicken!

Except not, because much to my chagrin, as my stuff was being rung up, I suddenly saw that there was water on the scanner. And my stuff was getting wet. Ah, must be from the frozen stuff bought by the lady before me, and besides, a little water never hurt anyone, right? Wrong. Well, maybe right about the water thing, but no. No, it was goopey chicken drippiness, which I realized only AFTER all my stuff had been scanned and gotten salmonella all over everything and poisoned my whole entire family!

I was freaking out in my head, but I'm so used to overreacting about germs, that I wasn't sure if this was one of those times or whether I had a legitimate reason to freak out! I got home and got a wet paper towel with antibacterial soap and wiped down everything I'd purchased. A little extreme? Maybe. But at least it did not turn into the germ phobic freakout that it most certainly could have. In the end, I calmed down a little and vented to my mom and felt better. Note to self: Pay more attention to checkout people at grocery store! In everyone's defense, there was a little girl throwing a full-on tantrum, sobbing hysterically and screaming at her mom (who was chasing her), as she ran up and down the aisles of the grocery store. It was a little distracting for everyone. And, a little hilarious.

Eventually, I was home, everything was cleaned (more or less), and it was time to start cooking!

I chopped the chicken and put it in the pan. I made the marinade and let the chicken sit in it for almost an hour. I cooked the chicken. I boiled the cashews. I boiled the rice-in-a-bag. Then I boiled the marinade to get rid of bacteria and let it boil lightly (is that what simmering is? how do I not know this?) for ten minutes, before adding the onions, followed by the mushrooms.

The bad news is that I let the onions cook too long before adding the mushrooms. The onions were super soft, and not crunchy at all by the time I took it off the burner. And then, that's when I may have made my fatal error. Okay, not fatal! Just... gross. You see, I poured the entire sauce mixture - the marinade, with onions and mushrooms - onto the chicken and cashews. I'm pretty sure (now! when it's too late!) that I was only supposed to take the onions and mushrooms out and mix it with the chicken and cashews. Or not, actually. That's the thing - I don't know! The reason I think I may have screwed up is that it was too rich for me when I ate it last night, and I didn't end up eating all that much of it. When I asked myself, "Why is that?", I realized that the whole freaking marinade base was peanut oil, which, come to think of it, isn't the best for you! Not exactly the thing to be gulping down with dinner.

But if I'd only removed the onions and mushrooms, wouldn't the dish be too dry?? How is a dish like that good with no sauce? But was there just too much sauce? Should more of it have evaporated or whatever while it was boiling? WTF??

So today, I cringed at the thought of checking on it. There it sat in the refrigerator, tormenting me. The tell-tale chicken. I was sure the whole thing was ruined beyond repair. It was an especially sad and defeated feeling, since the recipe had yielded so much food. Four servings? Who are you feeding, giants???

When I lifted the aluminum foil, it didn't look terrible. The sauce had solidified in the fridge, of course. I microwaved a little, and taste tested, and it seemed good. So I added some rice, and some more cashew chicken, microwaved it, and then drained the sauce out over the sink. There was a lot of sauce. Ew. But actually? It tastes pretty good! Like I said, a little oily. Not a healthy dish, by any means. But, a tasty one.

For my next recipe, I think I'll attempt to choose something that has healthier ingredients! Yes, even after this nerve wracking experience (and crazy tons of dishes I have to clean), I am ready and willing to try again. After all, I have to confess - it was kind of fun. I think I may eventually get the hang of this whole cooking thing!

I'll let you know when it's safe to come over for dinner!